Keeping Rolling Rolling Rolling Rolling

Last night I watched Furious Seven with the missus; the latest (and probably final) installment in the modern The Fast and The Furious franchise, staring Vin Diesel and the late Paul Walker. Number seven was as good as number one, but different. I think I missed, or passed, on five and six.

Going back through the Furious adventures (via a nice tribute at the end of the film), I thought back through all the years of this blog and all its adventures, and how life has thrown one curve after another. Such is the ride that is life.

I've experienced blow-outs, burn-outs, crashes, citations, cruises, tuning, boosts, sideswipes, sabotage, losses, victories, and even switched cars a few times. I'm sure you have had your share of some of those too.

I'll be moving from the city this blog was birthed, in a couple of months. As part of this move, I'll be keeping some things, donating some things, recycling some things, and tossing out some things. I'm donating Epotlounge to you, with no more tuning (i.e. new posts). It's been maxed out. :). Thank you all for riding with me over these past seven years. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling!

What Would You Grab In a Fire?

I was lucky. The apartment building where my children were born in had smoke detectors so sensitive that we all got to practice fire drills often over the first months living there.

Typically, it was just someone leaving food on the stove too long.

We got so good, that when the real fire came a year later, practice made perfect.

We had already agreed with the kids on a rally point; where to go once you're out of the house and where everyone meets.

So, what did we take?

1. Keys
2. Wallet / Purse
3. Mobile Phone
4. Office laptop bag
5. Document bag (with IDs)

Truth is, one through three is really the best you can hope for, without practice. One through three are typically together if not on your person, which helps.

Four and five, everyone knew to grab based on our practices, if they hadn't been grabbed already. Also, five can fit into four, and four can be carried over the shoulder and across the chest, leaving hands free.

Designate a household fire marshal, who is the last to leave and makes sure everyone is out, and makes sure everyone is at the rally point. By my rough estimate from our practices, every adult had no more than 30 seconds, and every child no more than one minute. Add all the minutes, and that's how long from the time the alarm blares, until everyone must be out of the house; maximum. Once that time it reached, the fire marshal moves anyone remaining out of the house and leaves for the rally point.

There are sites and pamphlets on fire safety, but my impression is that if they are ever read, their contents are seldom practiced.

Again, do practice, and make sure your kids know the drill. Every alarm is different, and you never know which one will be the one. You may have more, or less time than you think. It's all theory until the $#!+ hits the fan. Then, it's what you practiced that counts.

image from commons.wikimedia.org

What are you #Thanksgiving?

• I woke up this morning and everything that's me works; mileage notwithstanding 
• There's probably still more food than I can eat for breakfast in the fridge
• Heat's working
• Working today, with the option to do it remotely
• The missus secured the bedroom so I could sleep in, until (wait for it) almost 8 a.m.
• Got to wish pops happy birthday 
• And of course, much more, including clean underwear ;)

On This #911anniversary...

Remember to be grateful.
Remember to love someone.
Remember to forgive someone.
Remember what's important.
Remember what probably shouldn't wait until tomorrow.
Remember what to hold on to.
Remember what to let go of.
Remember you may be where you are for a good reason.
Remember right now.

Hope For A Better Tomorrow

myfreewallpapers.net

We all know in the news there is always more bad news than good. However, it has been more grim than usual this summer. IS[IS|IL|whatever], Ferguson, Boko Haram, Ebola, Gaza, Ukraine, etc.

It is really easier than usual to just say $cr@w it and stay in bed, or worse, run down into the panic room. To be sure, there are serious issues of global proportion out there, and sometime they hit home in ways we never see coming.

There are also those issues that are local and even personal. It is not too hard to give up.

A youth pastor I know revealed that one of the biggest complaints teenagers confided about the adults in their lives, is that they've got a bleak outlook on the future. Their point was that why should they even bother looking towards adulthood when the adults closest to them are all doom and gloom.

My kids are all still in their single digits, and I still see all the joy and hope in their eyes as they enjoy this life. We must give their generation something worth looking forward to.

Trayvon Martin Sunday

Sybrina Fulton, Trayvon Martin's mother, was the honorary guest today at Saint Paul A.M.E Church, in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where my daughter visits to sing with the youth choir once a month. While Ms. Fulton was only able to attend the first service (I was at the second), I was told she gave very brief but powerful words to the congregants.

Pastor Rev. Melvin E. Wilson had asked everyone to don a hoodie to the services in remembrance of Trayvon. I had to admit that at first I was a bit taken aback. The only times I wear a hoodie is when I'm home working on my motorcycle or other manual labor. This was Sunday, going to church with my daughter. We'd both be wearing hoodies.

The first thought in my head was, I really don't want to be DWB today, not even by chance, not with my kid in the car. But then I thought, there really isn't anything inherently wrong with wearing a hoodie. It's just the fear of becoming a target (e.g. KWB). So, I had another conversation with my daughter (at her level), about who Trayvon was, who killed him, and why he got killed. We also talked about being perceived as being a treat because of one's appearance, including skin color, and how to mitigate that.

In the service it was remarkable to see three and four generations of congregants, of all backgrounds, with hoodies. Professor Chales Ogeltree gave the word (i.e. sermon) for the second service; focusing on remembering Travyon and those before him (e.g. Emmett Till), honoring Trayvon by understanding the laws of our municipalities, to listen to and teach our children about "the rough side of the mountain", and not letting our fears keep them in the dark about the realities of life they ought to be aware of. Unfortunately, my son is too young to understand at the level of his sister. However, I've kept the church program, so we can start to have the conversation, one hoodie at a time.

For Men Only: How To Never Lose Another Umbrella

Wait.

Make sure your lady is OUT of the room.

Or better yet, out of the house. Are you all set? Good. I'll make it short, 

in case she sneaks back in, because you were so eager to get her out, that you

 overdid it by giving her your credit card and car keys. Here it is... Get a pink umbrella. Get

 a tote-sized, bright, monochrome pink (that's pink only, for you art majors) umbrella. I've 

had  mine for seven years, or something. Ain't no shame fellas. Ain't no shame. I've left it at work, 

on the bus, in restaurants, at Fenway Park, at my mama house...and it's always gotten back to 

me , before I've gotten too far. Once you get yours... Men will be too embarrassed to steal it. 

Women 

will want 

to see 

the look of 

horror on your 

face when they 

return it and 

then compliment 

you about being 

secure in your 

manhood.

Kids won't 

want it, 

because kids 

don't want 

what they 

already have 

or that you're 

too eager to 

give to them, 

such as chores, 

consequences, 

advice, and 

Amoxicillin.

And after all 

this time, I've 

finally figured 

out to fix my 

umbrella when 

the canopy 

separates 

from the tips.

If you want 

to know how, 

let me know

...if you dare. :)

Telling Kids The Truth

Arthur Fordham c1902

So a few nights ago I'm reading Little Red Riding Hood to my kids; one in a line of many, many earlier versions. I get to that part where the wolf eats grandma....when my four-year-old son, still learning to read, interrupts, "don't you mean she hid in the closet?" I'm dumbfounded for a second, and then I remember vaguely that later versions of this famed story involve grandma and a closet.

I could do what most American parents I know would like do, and move the story right along for the sake of my audience and be mortified that such a politically-incorrect version of the book made its way into our sacred library. God knows I was tempted. Especially since my three-year-old nephew was also present. However, I've made it a policy to tell my kids the truth in a manner they will comprehend so matter how risqué the question.

"Noooo," I finally replied. "The wolf ate grandma." My index finger tracing below the words. My daughter, an excellent reader, nodded in agreement. When he protested that the version he knew about from TV involved a closet, I went on to explain that in the original version, the wolf actually ate grandma. I then explained to the kids, in their language, that sometimes there are different versions of a story to match the changing times in the world and how people feel about things.

Parenting in America today, and life in general, isn't like what it was when the original Little Red Riding Hood was printed. So there's this valid tendency to want to protect our children at all costs.
I believe we can do this by telling our children the truth, at a level and manner that they can comprehend, even if not fully. It's a muscle we as parents and all who care for and love children, have to exercise for it to become part of our conditioning. I wasn't so smooth my first time with my pal Curious George, but I had to start somewhere too.

I'm glad for my choice because next, the wolf (I totally forgot) eats Little Red too! Finally, the woodsman kills the wolf (oh dear) with his ax, freeing both grandma and Little Red (whew). I could hear my parental alarms blaring as I read, but I kept repeating to myself, you and millions of children once read (or were read) the same story, and the world didn't end.

Better a truth that fosters a difficult but necessary conversation, and path to a critical understanding of the world, than a lie that slowly but eventually erodes trust.

Navigating The Storms of Life

More raw sermon notes, from the iPod:

Family Matter 2013: Storms

A storm can be to your benefit.
Press into the storm.
We lose sight that The Lord is with us through the storm. 

"Now it came to pass on a certain day, that he went into a ship with his disciples: and he said unto them,  Let us go over unto the other side of the lake.  And they launched forth. But as they sailed he fell asleep: and there came down a storm of wind on the lake; and they were filled with water, and were in jeopardy. And they came to him, and awoke him, saying, Master, master, we perish. Then he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they ceased, and there was a calm. And he said unto them,  Where is your faith?  And they being afraid wondered, saying one to another, What manner of man is this! for he commandeth even the winds and water, and they obey him." (Luke 
8:22-25 KJV)

God wants us to exercise our faith with the storms that come. 

1. Do not be intimidated by the storm, use the storm to your advantage. Ask the Lord what He wants you to do now. The storm is a test. Go where God wants you to go despite the storm. There will always be storms. Let God figure out how He is going to resolve the storm, because the resolution is beyond our comprehension. 

2. Give up controlling the situation to God. Focus on what you do know, not what you don't know. Keep your spirit strong. 

3. It's the word of God that gives us peace. Get into the presence of God.

4. Don't be bitter. Encourage people in the storm. 

5. Persist and persevere for you have a destiny. God says, "I have given you everything, you will overcome." Storms do not last forever. There is a due time and an appointed season to reap. 

6. Don't forget the storms you've already been through.

Resolving The Family Problem

My dad doesn't volunteer wisdom to me often, but every time he has, it's been on point. Not sure on the attribution on the following but here goes:

A father left 17 camels as an asset for his three sons. When the father passed away, his sons opened up the will. The will stated that the eldest son should get half of 17 camels while the middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third). The youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the 17 camels.

As it is not possible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9, The three sons started to fight with each other. So, the three sons decided to go to a wise man.

The wise man listened patiently about the will. The wise man, after giving this thought, brought one camel of his own and added the same to 17. That increased the total to 18 camels.

Now, he started reading the deceased father's will.

Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 camels.
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 camels.
1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 camels.

Adding this up: 9 plus 6 plus 2 is 17 and this left one camel, which the wise 
man took back.

Moral: The attitude of negotiation and problem solving is to find the 18th camel.

Oklahoma Will Be O-K

The tornadoes' wrath across Oklahoma shown in news images of ravaged miles of buildings, reminds me of the Oklahoma City bombing of 1995. However, the fury of nature has no person or state to hunt, demonize, or prosecute. I can barely comprehend the vast carnage over such distances, and how those affected will rebuild. Although I know, rebuild they will. 

The courage of the victims, their friends and families and neighbors give me hope of our better nature as Americans, as human beings. Their grace amidst the chaos that seemed to take so many by surprise, is a stark reminder that it can all go to heck in an instance. Every moment is a gift.

Like we often hear after each of these life altering and shattering events, hug your children, tell them you love them. To this I add, hug your family, your neighbor, your friend, your dog, your cat, your fish. Give and receive love.

I pray that the departed are in peace. I pray those left behind continue to persist and persevere and take nothing for granted. I know from the determination in their eyes, and the conviction of their resolve, that the people of Oklahoma will be O-K.

3 and 9 Life Lessons

1. Whatever or whomever you believe in must be at least able to sustain you through life.
2. People make time for what's important to them.
3. There is a special place where the end of logic and the beginning of faith meet.
4. It's our relationships that keep us warm and alive.
5. Have kids, even if it's only for a Saturday afternoon, the rewards are astounding.
6. Sometimes, even when you're right, it's better to let the scenario play out.
7. Find something, or better yet, someone, to love.
8. Calculate, risk and win or lose, but if you love it, keep playing the game.
9. Take pictures, because one day, that's all you may have left of a friend.
10. Give.
11. Learn what Peradventure means.
12. Get your affairs in order.

Ooh La La iPad

Ok, so my cousin just got the iPad and I thought to take it for a spin.
Well it does live up to the hype. It's very slick to view and intelligent as well.
It's smart enough to anticipate and transition for text to symbols to text
when typing it's for example.

The typing takes a bit to get used to but you have to approach it
"drunken style". Just imagine typing with the first three or four fingers on each hand.

Until the next time. Oh, did I mention spell check on the fly?

The Toliet Office

When the kids are sleeping in both rooms, the wife is cooking, and the T.V.'s blaring; what we have left is the quiet, calm solace of the toliet office.

The End of You

What would you do if you knew you were going to die?
What would you do if you knew you were going to die in ten years?
...in ten months?
...in ten hours?
...in ten minutes?
You don't know one way or the other.
Still sounds too theoretical?
Write your will.
It focuses the mind on mortality in a way few other conscious acts do.

Farewell John O. Keep Smiling

I got a call from one of my former Bible study mates, when I lived in Florida, that one of our mutual mates had passed away. It's been a couple of years since I've been back to Florida, and twice as long since I've attended Bible study there.

They are largely responsible for the spiritual maturity of my thirties, and an appreciation for the things that require patience and last, versus the things that are breezed through and short-lived.

John talked less than his wife did, but not because he was quiet. Rather his expression seem to say all that needed to be said about his state of his spirit. He always seemed happy just to be wherever he was present. While I spoke more with his wife, I always love his infectious countenance and how they both (like the rest of my group) looked out for me, without looking out for me.

I'm due to head down South soon, and I plan on making a stop to see John's wife. Not only to pay my respects, but to tell her how much they mean to me.

The Lion Is Gone But His Dream Shall Never Die

My first contact with Senator Edward Moore Kennedy was when I filed for a Green Card on my father's behalf. As with a lot of processes born of federal bureaucracies, this one got terribly boughed down in blind alleys and red herrings, finally ending in a stalemate. My fathers file wasn't moving forward due to some discrepancies, of which I had no clue.

After hearing my complaints, my mother (being my mother) said, "write Senator Kennedy", the way a friend might tell you to get your oldest brother if that bully keeps bothering you. I told her, I can't write Senator Kennedy. That's would be like calling the Queen of England over some disputed parking tickets, or so I thought. My mother then broke it down. She told me that he was MY senator, and it was his responsibility to get letters from people like you, and respond to them.

People like me? My mother must have heard my thought, for she continued, "just tell him you were in the Army." "But I'm no longer in the Army," I replied. What I would remember later was that Sen. Kennedy's oldest brother had fought and died in World War II. My mother wasn't trying to get me to game the system, she was just trying to get into my skull that I was relevant enough to write a letter to the Sen. Kennedy, and expect, if not demand a response.

I wrote the best letter I knew how to write, and I endorsed it with my military rank, grade, and status. I figured it would get to his office and go right into the circular file. After all, you called Sen. Kennedy when you needed the Charles River parted and Jesus wasn't available because he was doing his fishes and loaves thing on the Boston Common.

A few weeks later, I got a response on letterhead. I almost passed out. I showed my mother the letter, and she smirked with a, told you, look in her eyes. When she actually read the letter, she was disappointed. An aid on his behalf said, basically, that the dear Senator's hands were tied on my issue. I was still on, Senator Kennedy's office REPLIED to my letter. It changed my perspective our political system. That We The People stuff...actually meant something. Oddly enough, my dad's detente with the INS mysterious resolved itself, and he received his green card a couple of months later.

I saw Senator Kennedy for the first, last, and only time as a guest of a friend to his naturalization ceremony. True to form, Sen. Kennedy had arranges thing so the decommissioning of the USS John F. Kennedy aircraft carrier, and the ceremony could be held on the same weekend. So, I got to not only get a first look at the carrier before the general population, but got to hear Sen. Kennedy speak at the ceremony.

He waxed eloquently about all of us being a nation of immigrants regardless of how many generations removed, and how it was the engine of the United States. I wanted to talk to Sen. Kennedy, but I thought the men and women in uniform ought to have first dibs. Plus, I was grossly late for work. What was a near hurricane gale outside was contrasted by the warmth of the lion's roar inside.

Senator Ted Kennedy's legacy to me is best captured in his quote:

"For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."

The End of Summer

The bottom part of Summer is my favorite part. Although Summer officially ends (in the U.S.) mid-September. Growing up, and once you have school-aged children, September equals school. So, the bottom have of half of Summer is really all you got left.

So hurry up! You have time for...

One more BBQ
One more road-trip
One more pool party
One more beach trip
One more camping trip
One more trip to the museum
One more trip the aquarium
One more trip to the drive-in
One more dinner under the star
One more dip in your birthday suit
One more motorcycle rally
One more soccer match
One more bike ride
One more summer romance with the one you're with, or the one you've just met
One more dance outside
One more live band
One more story of a summer past

Cancer

It's the time of Cancer if you are into the zodiac. I've also just discovered I have two people close to me, who have cancer. An odd thing. Both people, I haven't spoken to in a long time. Both are two very different people with different ways of dealing with adversity.

Cancer not unlike it's great-grandfather, death, is a substantial equalizer. No matter who you are, or where you are from, when you get the diagnosis, I don't suspect you can buy, talk, or seduce your way out of it. Like Nitrogen in the atmosphere, it just is.

Since I've yet to have cancer, I'm going on supposition rather than personal experience. Kind of like knowing someone who's had sex, versus having sex oneself.

What will help me be useful to my two people is that I have had someone close to me deteriorate, and eventually die of a terminal illness. I listen more than I talk. I pray from them. I asked them to call me if they want to talk. When I tell them I'll call them, and I do. It's also really easy to do that"..as we forgive those to trespass against us" part of the Lord's Prayer. I also keep living with them; and if they do depart before I do, I live better because of them.

The Marathon That Is Marriage

Yesterday, I took one of those Facebook notes (i.e. questionnaire) the spouse of a former co-worker sent to me. This one was different, and titled: Your Marriage. It was a series of whos, whats, and whens about the sender's marriage with the request that the recipient reciprocate, and then tags some friends as well, to keep the ball rolling.

This was the first time I had to really recollect things like our first date, when did we get serious, who asked who out, etc. The affect it had on my psyche was that of a cool, summer evening breeze, after a hot afternoon.

I was transported back for a moment to those heady days (and nights) of courtship, and felt like a teenager again. We are in our fifth year of marriage and with two young children. It's easy for the daily hustle and flow of life to become just a routine one gets used to over the years.

Marriage to me is like a marathon. I'd like to think of our beloved Boston Marathon in particular. It starts beautifully and full of promise in Hopkington, MA, and the finish in Boston can feel like a spectacular triumph, or just the end of a very long and painful journey. Of course, in between you have Heartbreak Hill, named for a good reason; break it or it breaks you.

Unfortunately, most marriage participants don't have the structured training and preparation the average marathoner does. These days, to get past any multiple of four years in marriage is a feat in itself, not to mention stick together long enough to drive the kids to college.

Me? I just past my first multiple of four. The first milestone, years-wise. The honeymoon is long over and raising the kids is all consuming. Yesterday though, put some of that courtship sparkle back in my eye. The wind is at my back today, and I'm running downhill.