The Decade In Review?

It's hard to believe the first ten years of the decade are coming to a close. I would have missed it, had it not been for the media. After all, 2010 is a nice round number.

Most of it has been colored by September 11, 2001, and its aftermath, n0t to mention the Great Recession. It's a grayier time, and leaner time, a meaner time, and a ME-er time. At the end of it, we've become tougher and more resilent because of it.

The World In World Cup

A few weeks ago I left work a bit later than I should have, so I ended up catching a later bus. When I arrived at the bus stop, a gentleman who looked unsure about whether he was at the right bus stop, approached me. He me asked how to get to Porter Square, Cambridge from the stop. I told him he was at the right bus stop, and that from it's destination in Harvard Square, he could take a train to Porter Square. It turns out I was headed the same route, one train stop further.

Then I asked him about his accent? He told me he was from Germany. I told him I was originally from Nigeria. Before you know it we were talking about world football (soccer in the U.S.), the different international leagues, their politics, pros and cons, the World Cup, and the future of the sport.

By the time he got off the train at Porter Square, you'd think we'd been long time acquaintances.

Memographs

While doing file restores, I came across all the photos I had backed-up over the years. It took me back to face and places, that had passed. They made me smile. They all did. They are snapshots of my life, a live lived smiling.

Winter Memories

Just had a lovely flashback to when I did nothing but ski winter weekends, nothing hurt longer than a day, and people would look at my snowboard on the train and look at me like I just introduced fire.

World Cup Draw 2010

Nigeria, Argentina, and Greece are in the same group they were in World Cup 1994.

A Not So Black Friday

I found myself escorting my in-law to the local mall on Black Friday. I dropped her off, and told her I would be back in an hour. My heart raced as I drove into the Porsche dealership across the way from the mall, wondering what the heck I was doing, when I knew darn well I had no intention of buying any sort of Porsche today.

Nonetheless, my spirit man had been ringing all morning to go, just go. You don't need a reason, just go. So there I was, parking my wife's SUV, and stepping out into a consistent drizzle, expecting to be scolded away, any moment, by a saleperson accustomed to higher-rollers than me.

I started towards a 911 Carrera Turbo, then a Carrera 4s, then a Boxster, then a Cayman, enjoying the variation in transmissions, colors, et al. My confidence grew, my eyes widened. Plus, I answered a fundamental question. No, the 911's rear seats wouldn't cut it for the kids, so it would have to be a Boxster or a Cayman, in my dream state, and the missus would worry about driving the kids. I walked in as I saw a man with his kids do the same. All right, I thought, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Inside the showroom was embarassingly barren, even for a rainly day after Thanksgiving. It was a Boxster, a Carrera Coupe, and another gentleman, apart from the father of two. The gentleman and I struck up a conversation, and his response that he was here having his Boxster serviced, intrigued me. I joined him for a seat in the service department's waiting area, where he spoke of his Porsche history, the inherent brevity of human life, and the importance of keeping one's dream alive.

After being educated a bit more on his earned wisdom in life and motorsports, I glanced from my notes on my mobile phone and realized my hour sojourn was over. I thanked the gentleman, and inside, God, for the omen. When I exited the dealership, I walked into a downpour, but inside it might as well have been a glade of heaven in June.

Five Things I'm Thankful For...

1. Faith
2. Serendipity
3. Learning opportunities
4. Love
5. Health
   

The Great Equalizers (In No Particular Order)

1. Taxes
2. Voting
3. Disease
4. Pain
5. Death

Remembering Veterans

Yesterday, as I was about to board a train, an older gentleman getting off the train asked me a question, with a smile. I had my earbuds on so I didn't hear him the first tine. I took of my earbuds, as the rest of the passengers flowed out. He smiled again, and said, "I hope you had a nice Veterans Day," then continued on his merry way.

I had no clue how he knew I was a veteran. I had nothing obvious that would have given it away giving the short timeframe. It warmed my heart and stuck with me from the rest of the ride home. Then I remembered the message from a former army buddy the day before that, Veterans Day. He called to wish me a Happy Veterans Day, and commented on the lack of appreciation from those who never had to put on the uniform with the willingness to make the sacrifice.

Happy Veterans Day, everyday.

Words To Live By

"Everyone has a plan, until they get hit" - Mike Tyson.

How To Get Folks To Come To Your Event With < 24 Hours Notice

1. After you send the invite, call your guests
2. Talk-up your event, but absolve invitees who already have plans
3. Let the guests know they will be well fed, and watered
4. Be flexible on start and end times, giving guests the widest timeframe to attend
5. Offer carpooling, or arrange to pick-up guests who don't have transportation.
6. If it's Summer, have the venue near water
7. If it's Winter, allow your guests to sleep over, if they want to.
8. If it's going to run 'til sun up, offer breakfast
9. If it's going into the wee hours of the morning, arrange for rides home
10. Door prizes
    

The Toliet Office

When the kids are sleeping in both rooms, the wife is cooking, and the T.V.'s blaring; what we have left is the quiet, calm solace of the toliet office.

Three Most Interestingly Named Places I Drove Through Last Weekend

1. Frackville, PA
2. Fishkill, NY
3. Halfway, VA
   

A Shiver In My Bones

This is about the time of year when I wonder whether to get ready to put the motorcycle away for the season. It's been a good Fall for riding so far and the folliage especially radiant. Even my tires seem to be rolling smooth. I'm sue there's a nice physics lesson to explain that. Still I like that what I love to do means less oil burning.

Two Ways To Get Buy-in To Faith

I think there are two ways people get sold on a particular faith (product or service for that matter), that offers the path of least resistance.

First, is that the people need what the faith (product or service) is offering. Let's suppose your house or appartment is on fire. You need (not want) the fire department. The fire department doesn't need to hard-sell you on their services. They don't need to run ads, give discounts, or offer free coffee and donuts. You seek them out, because they are the best solution to your current problem.

Second, is that a person gets a recommendation from someone that is (to him or her) beyond reproach. We all have or know someone like that. That person recommends a certain movie and, no matter what it is, we go see it. Either that person is rarely wrong, or her judgement is trustworthy.

When I think about Christianity and evangelizing, I wonder why most organizations of faith, I've been a part of, don't examing and utilize these two ways more often. I returned to the Christian faith because of a someone illustrated in the second example. Yet that person doesn't fit the mold of what people would consider a "Good Christian". Still, he got me going back to church. Why? Because he knew me well enough, and I trusted him enough in this particular department.

When I speak with people that are ambivilent or doubt the legitimecy of organized religion, the reasons that I hear over and over are either hypocracy, piety (e.g. holier-than-thou attitute), judgmentalism, or "D", all of the above.

My revelation as I wonder how to get people to buy-in to faith, is that I will be more successful either being the source of the best solution to their current problem at the right time, or being that someone is worthy of their trust.

Brazil 2014 and 2016

I was so thrilled when Brazil received the nod for the 2014 World Cup a few years ago. Now I'm besides myself that Brazil has received the honor of hosting the 2016 Summer Olympics. Vamos lá!

Be You Wherever You Find Yourself

Part of the anxiety from living today (in the U.S.A.) is that with so much access to media, there's such a push to be everything you can or want to be, now. That is what is sold to us. It's what makes us consumers.

It's not possible for everyone to be the perfect dress size, on the perfect vacation, a millionaire, in the perfect job, or running your dream business, right this second.

What I believe we can do with bring that attitude to whatever or wherever we find ourselves. When you can't be great on the outside, right this second, for whatever reason...be great on the inside. Be who you are, and then be who you want to be.

Happy 49th Nigeria

Nigeria gained its independence from Britain 49 years ago. So much has changed since then. From the bloody Biafra war, to the discovery of oil, to the curse of it that followed. From a military regime to democratic elections. From a dearth of landlines to a smattering of GSM mobile phones.

Then you hear about about the corruption of government, of the people, and you wonder what to make of it. Nigerians these days are remembered primarily for fraud and bad movies. It almost a caricature.

So where are we? Where does Nigeria plan on going. What's the point of it all. Some people are going back to Nigeria to be a part of the economic changes and opportunities going on in Lagos and Abuja, the capital. Some, are ashamed of Nigeria. Some romanticize it. Still others feel that nothing will ever change, and you either need to lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way

Gateau and Gelato

I was in Miami Beach, Florida a few weeks ago, and happened upon a little gelato shop I hadn't been to in a while. Actually, I had never been in inside until last week. You see, every single time I had attempted to go there when I did live in South Florida, it was closed. It closed rather early, for Miami Beach.

This time I happened to catch it just in time. I decided to splurge and have a partnership of chocolate gateau and hazelnut gelato. A decadent combination of Italian molten chocolate cake with filling, plus a side (or two) of Italian ice-cream. It looked a bit like this. Amore.

You Do Not Have Because You Do Not Ask

I listen to the radio, watch T.V., and read the papers. There is an overwhelming vibe of lack in their content. To be sure, versus naive, people all over are having to make due with less than what they're accustomed to.

What I'd like to challenge people to is to get in the habit of asking for what you need. Ask God, ask you brother, your cousin, your friend, your co-worker...just ask. You'll be surprised of what you'll get.

Five of My Favorite Foods While on Vacation in the USA

1. Peruvian seafood fried rice
2. Cinnabon
3. Gelatto
4. Just about anything with curry, coconut milk, and mango
5. Really good, non-major-chain pizza
   

Never The Same River Twice

I'm in South Florida seeing some friends I haven't really seen since I lived here. While I feel the nostalgia of past shared experiences, the truth is they are once in a lifetime.

If I attempted to do the same things, with different people, the experiences would be different. So here's to new experiences with old friends that have manage to be new again.

The Unemployment Numbers

Do you every think some employers use economic downturns to purge employees? In the immortal words of Arsenio Hall, things that make you go...hmmmmm.

I Remember Again

I watched the US Open (tennis) last Saturday for the first time since 9/08/01, my last Saturday in the Marriott World Trade Center. Tonight, I'm under the weather. My energy is low. I'm going to bed early. Tomorrow, I may have to work from home, if I'm clearly a train wreck by the time I wake up.

Those feelings creep back. The feeling you get when a place you just spent time in, no longer exists. The feeling that if I hadn't been so broke that weekend, I would have most likely extended my hotel stay through 9/11/01, instead of returning to Boston on 9/9/01. One of my buddies, I believe, still may have the pen from that hotel that ceased to exist come that fateful Tuesday. I still have the Metro Card, subway pass from the World Trade Center station, I bought (and the debit card receipt) on our way to see Phantom of the Opera, off Broadway.

I remember what a beautiful weekend it was. In fact it was the best time I ever had in New York, by far. I also will never forget the absolutely spectacular morning Tuesday, 9/11/01 was, as I walked into my office building (in Cambridge at the time) at a little before 8:00 a.m. A cool blue sky, with not a single cloud to be seen. A perfect 76 degrees. Now, any day in September that resembles that, gives me a knot in my stomach.

I'll talk to one of my buddies from that weekend soon enough, and we'll probably have that odd silence we do, knowing we basically dodged a bullet. For those who didn't, we remember you, always.

What Do You Do When Some Movie Bad-Mouths Your Demographic?

Being Nigerian by parentage means I inevitably get asked about all things Nigerian that may appear in the media or some other avenue of pop-culture. To be sure, every culture has some media outlet that portrays it, at one point or another, in a negative light.

So what do you do about it? A filmmaker friend of mine, from the Democratic Republic of Congo, had some great advice when some film (a few years back) committed such an offense. "Make your own movie," he said. It sounded glib when I first heard it, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. This extends to books, blogs, whatever. Ultimately, to paraphrase Gandhi, we have to be the change we want to see in the world.

What To Do About The District 9, Nigerian Portrayal Drama?

What to do about the District 9,Nigerian portrayal drama? Maybe I'll have a Beer Summit where I have the movie producers and the former President of Nigeria meet with me over a root beer.

The End of You

What would you do if you knew you were going to die?
What would you do if you knew you were going to die in ten years?
...in ten months?
...in ten hours?
...in ten minutes?
You don't know one way or the other.
Still sounds too theoretical?
Write your will.
It focuses the mind on mortality in a way few other conscious acts do.

Farewell John O. Keep Smiling

I got a call from one of my former Bible study mates, when I lived in Florida, that one of our mutual mates had passed away. It's been a couple of years since I've been back to Florida, and twice as long since I've attended Bible study there.

They are largely responsible for the spiritual maturity of my thirties, and an appreciation for the things that require patience and last, versus the things that are breezed through and short-lived.

John talked less than his wife did, but not because he was quiet. Rather his expression seem to say all that needed to be said about his state of his spirit. He always seemed happy just to be wherever he was present. While I spoke more with his wife, I always love his infectious countenance and how they both (like the rest of my group) looked out for me, without looking out for me.

I'm due to head down South soon, and I plan on making a stop to see John's wife. Not only to pay my respects, but to tell her how much they mean to me.

Lost @ Kenmore

My dad invited me to a Red Sox game last week, the first ever. He's more of a Sox fan, and I'm more of a Boston fan. Anyway, I arrived at Kenmore Square at about quarter-to-seven, and I barely recognized the place. First of all, 99 percent of all the times I'm been to Kenmore Square have been long after the sun had descended. Also, with all the renovation since in the last few years, I didn't know if I was coming or going.

The Lion Is Gone But His Dream Shall Never Die

My first contact with Senator Edward Moore Kennedy was when I filed for a Green Card on my father's behalf. As with a lot of processes born of federal bureaucracies, this one got terribly boughed down in blind alleys and red herrings, finally ending in a stalemate. My fathers file wasn't moving forward due to some discrepancies, of which I had no clue.

After hearing my complaints, my mother (being my mother) said, "write Senator Kennedy", the way a friend might tell you to get your oldest brother if that bully keeps bothering you. I told her, I can't write Senator Kennedy. That's would be like calling the Queen of England over some disputed parking tickets, or so I thought. My mother then broke it down. She told me that he was MY senator, and it was his responsibility to get letters from people like you, and respond to them.

People like me? My mother must have heard my thought, for she continued, "just tell him you were in the Army." "But I'm no longer in the Army," I replied. What I would remember later was that Sen. Kennedy's oldest brother had fought and died in World War II. My mother wasn't trying to get me to game the system, she was just trying to get into my skull that I was relevant enough to write a letter to the Sen. Kennedy, and expect, if not demand a response.

I wrote the best letter I knew how to write, and I endorsed it with my military rank, grade, and status. I figured it would get to his office and go right into the circular file. After all, you called Sen. Kennedy when you needed the Charles River parted and Jesus wasn't available because he was doing his fishes and loaves thing on the Boston Common.

A few weeks later, I got a response on letterhead. I almost passed out. I showed my mother the letter, and she smirked with a, told you, look in her eyes. When she actually read the letter, she was disappointed. An aid on his behalf said, basically, that the dear Senator's hands were tied on my issue. I was still on, Senator Kennedy's office REPLIED to my letter. It changed my perspective our political system. That We The People stuff...actually meant something. Oddly enough, my dad's detente with the INS mysterious resolved itself, and he received his green card a couple of months later.

I saw Senator Kennedy for the first, last, and only time as a guest of a friend to his naturalization ceremony. True to form, Sen. Kennedy had arranges thing so the decommissioning of the USS John F. Kennedy aircraft carrier, and the ceremony could be held on the same weekend. So, I got to not only get a first look at the carrier before the general population, but got to hear Sen. Kennedy speak at the ceremony.

He waxed eloquently about all of us being a nation of immigrants regardless of how many generations removed, and how it was the engine of the United States. I wanted to talk to Sen. Kennedy, but I thought the men and women in uniform ought to have first dibs. Plus, I was grossly late for work. What was a near hurricane gale outside was contrasted by the warmth of the lion's roar inside.

Senator Ted Kennedy's legacy to me is best captured in his quote:

"For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."

What's All This Technology For?

• Facebook

• Twitter

• E-mail

• Smartphones

The best thing they do is help you smile or help someone you care about smile. Everything else is just frosting.

The Stuff In The Basement

I just finished watching Rocky Balboa, after a strong recommendation from an unlikely source. The movie did not disappoint, and is a great reminder of why I like Stallone's work and always have.

In the film (mini-spoiler alert) Rocky is in a scene with his brother-in-law. He talks about the reason he's getting back into the ring is because he's still got some "stuff in the basement". I thought it was a great metaphor of the realization one has that they still got one more round in 'em. One still has something to prove. Maybe not a whole lot, but enough to put it all on the line, one more time. Enough to risk getting hit hard and knocked the #$%@ out.

There are so many reasons in life to give up, give in, and settle for inertia, or worse, mediocrity. A bunch of them are even logical. It's especially easy when you've got dependents, or you're at mid-life or beyond, or you're sick, or you're broke, or you're (insert excuse here). The body's not what it used to be. Maybe the energy now comes in spurts, instead of the torrent of youth. Perhaps a slow burn now replaces what was once an inferno. It's clear...you're past your peak.

You're now most likely to be overlooked, than looked over. People who know you and love you admonish you for letting pride deceive you into a comeback. At the edge of it, you may even begin to doubt yourself.

Then you remember the stuff in the basement. The pilot light only in need of some gas. The eye of the tiger. O fogo na barriga (the fire in the belly). You remember that to get up eight times is to fall seven times. You remember that fighters fight.

The End of Summer

The bottom part of Summer is my favorite part. Although Summer officially ends (in the U.S.) mid-September. Growing up, and once you have school-aged children, September equals school. So, the bottom have of half of Summer is really all you got left.

So hurry up! You have time for...

One more BBQ
One more road-trip
One more pool party
One more beach trip
One more camping trip
One more trip to the museum
One more trip the aquarium
One more trip to the drive-in
One more dinner under the star
One more dip in your birthday suit
One more motorcycle rally
One more soccer match
One more bike ride
One more summer romance with the one you're with, or the one you've just met
One more dance outside
One more live band
One more story of a summer past

Issue 100 - Be You Because Everybody Else Is Taken

The hundredth post. I remember back in my comic collecting days, where the next must have issue after the first, was the hundredth. Who knows if this will be such a post? Does it matter? To whom?

The path and vibe of this blog has changed since I started it last year, and I've decided that it's for the better. I'm being me versus someone else, so it works.

To Chris Guillebeau's point (Google "Art of Non-Conformity" for a proper intro to Chris G.), there's no point trying to be someone other than oneself. One, it can't be sustained. Two, if you ever get found out, you'll be vilified for admitting you were pretending to be someone else.

I learned almost a decade ago that (as a writer) you never, ever know what piece of writing you do that will strike a chord with people. However, I do know this. If that writing lit you up when you were writing it...odds are, it'll light up the reader too.

A-ha Moment of the Week

Don't let money (or lack of it) determine your station in life.

Cancer

It's the time of Cancer if you are into the zodiac. I've also just discovered I have two people close to me, who have cancer. An odd thing. Both people, I haven't spoken to in a long time. Both are two very different people with different ways of dealing with adversity.

Cancer not unlike it's great-grandfather, death, is a substantial equalizer. No matter who you are, or where you are from, when you get the diagnosis, I don't suspect you can buy, talk, or seduce your way out of it. Like Nitrogen in the atmosphere, it just is.

Since I've yet to have cancer, I'm going on supposition rather than personal experience. Kind of like knowing someone who's had sex, versus having sex oneself.

What will help me be useful to my two people is that I have had someone close to me deteriorate, and eventually die of a terminal illness. I listen more than I talk. I pray from them. I asked them to call me if they want to talk. When I tell them I'll call them, and I do. It's also really easy to do that"..as we forgive those to trespass against us" part of the Lord's Prayer. I also keep living with them; and if they do depart before I do, I live better because of them.

Praying For The Impossible

What do you have to lose?

Some Thoughts On Abundance

There is enough...

• money in the world
• time in the world
• work to do in the world
• love in the world
• food in the world
• square footage of living space in the world
• water in the world

The problem is...

• belief in the above
• distribution
  

The Marathon That Is Marriage

Yesterday, I took one of those Facebook notes (i.e. questionnaire) the spouse of a former co-worker sent to me. This one was different, and titled: Your Marriage. It was a series of whos, whats, and whens about the sender's marriage with the request that the recipient reciprocate, and then tags some friends as well, to keep the ball rolling.

This was the first time I had to really recollect things like our first date, when did we get serious, who asked who out, etc. The affect it had on my psyche was that of a cool, summer evening breeze, after a hot afternoon.

I was transported back for a moment to those heady days (and nights) of courtship, and felt like a teenager again. We are in our fifth year of marriage and with two young children. It's easy for the daily hustle and flow of life to become just a routine one gets used to over the years.

Marriage to me is like a marathon. I'd like to think of our beloved Boston Marathon in particular. It starts beautifully and full of promise in Hopkington, MA, and the finish in Boston can feel like a spectacular triumph, or just the end of a very long and painful journey. Of course, in between you have Heartbreak Hill, named for a good reason; break it or it breaks you.

Unfortunately, most marriage participants don't have the structured training and preparation the average marathoner does. These days, to get past any multiple of four years in marriage is a feat in itself, not to mention stick together long enough to drive the kids to college.

Me? I just past my first multiple of four. The first milestone, years-wise. The honeymoon is long over and raising the kids is all consuming. Yesterday though, put some of that courtship sparkle back in my eye. The wind is at my back today, and I'm running downhill.

Wisdom From "Bird Nest"

Do good things, don't do bad things...The three-year-old understands this, the eighty-year-old has a harder time figuring it out.

This was an excerpt of a show I was watching on PBS today. So simple, yet so seemingly complicated.

Teachable Moments And Training Days

Teachable moments are mistakes that if you make them more than once, the worst that may happen is that you suffer humiliation.

Training days are mistakes that you make only once.

Pray More

When you're tired of being tired, pray more.
When you've got less than you need, pray more.
When you think you've past the point-of-no-return, pray more.
When you don't want to try anymore, pray more.
When you want to give up, pray more.
When the doctors say it's no good, pray more.
When your in-laws are acting like outlaws, pray more.
When it's easier to quit than to try again, pray more.
When you don't know what to do, pray more.
When you're fed up, pray more.
When you don't have enough, pray more.
When it's easier to stay in bed, than to get up, pray more.
When you've got nothing left, pray more.
When you're scared, pray more.
When you're about to give in, pray more.
When you need [insert noun here] right now...pray more.

Cambridgegate

Gates versus the Cambridge Police Department (CPD) reminds me of the Tupac and Biggie spat of the early 90s. This eventually pit the entire East Coast against the entire West Coast.

While I support Obama and occasionally sip the kool-aid, I really wished he hadn't weighed in on the issue. He basically fell into a big trap. Being a Cantabrigian since birth, and a resident for over two decades, AND having been pulled over by Cambridge Police for DWB (driving while black), I can say with authority that the dispute is more likely about class than race. In 1989, I could believe the arrest could be race related, but in 2009, hardly.

You see 02138, where Gates lives, is one of the most wealthiest and most liberal zip codes in the country. It's also the kind of place where you could panhandle for a day and make enough for a trip to Florida.

Anyway, my point is that there was no mistake. No oversight. No mistaken identity. Two grown men unfortunately decided to get into a Richard swinging contest through the point of no return. I suspect Gates got a case of "do you know who I am?" And the CPD responded in kind. Neither had the good sense of descalating the situation. I believe both parties acted poorly and should apologize to each other...after being sent to their rooms without dessert.

I Robot, U Robot?

I was listening to On Point with Tom Ashbrook on NPR today, and he was speaking with the CEO of iRobot. The discussion hovered around the advancement of robotics through today, and the impact of those advancements on the working man.

The experts and pro-roboticists felt robots definitely had and have had a place, particularly in the medical and automotive field as being the silent aid in human endevours. Although not necessarily as a substitute or an successor.

On the other side were those who just didn't feel secure in robots having untethered control. The key arguement being, that robot hadn't evolved the decision making engine commesurate to the human mind. For example, a robot can't discern between an eight-month-old baby crying because it's hungry versus crying because it's tired. Humans have a hard enough time figuring that out, but we learn.

Being a sci-fi dude, I have a healthy respect for both sides of the coin. However, to the guest's other point, I also see a gradually shift to robotics being common place. More man and machine merging over time, until we go the full cyborg (if ever) rather than a flip of the switch. I see it more like cosmetic surgery. The early adopters will be those who can afford it, or due to injury or disability, need it.

Integrated robotics will start out as a luxury and novelty, not unlike the mobile phone. Then it will become so integrated with society, that after economies of scale and productivity are met, we won't be able to live without it.

Trusting God With Your Life

There's a lot of time spent debating who believes in God versus who doesn't. A book I was reading put to my mind the importance of not just believing in God, but in trusting God with one's life. For example you probably can name ten people who think you are a good driver, but which one of them would actually lend you their car for two weeks. That's the difference between believing in someone, and trusting that someone with something of great value.

Fortune Cookies I'd Like To Read

• Beware of old wives' tales, you might trip over them
• Make sure you have enough money for the bus, that way you don't have to deal with the repo man
• It takes longer to get somewhere than to get back from somewhere, because one only needs to get lost once to learn
  
• It is what it is, but I still don't know what it is
• Once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, and three times...a lady.
  

How Long Should A Vehicle Last?

If I ran the world, the formula would be...

MSRP* / 1000 = HLSAVL


*Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price, In US Dollars.

B-B-Q

I just returned from my cousin seventh annual Nigerian barbecue over the weekend. As usual, it was a smattering of food, drink, music, and people.

It wasn't until he reminded me this was the seventh, did I realize it had been going on for that long. He started it on a fluke, and with only a few of us. These last few years, the crowd easily hit fifty or sixty.

Now per Seth Godin's advice, I going to start my own spectacle.

Five Things Guaranteed To Make The World A Better Place

1) Smile.
2) Say good morning to everyone you see before lunch.
3) Give a tourist directions.
4) When someone asks you for spare change, give him or her a dollar instead.
5) Babysit.

Don't feel restricted to just five.

Raise Your Expectations

I was in church this last Sunday and the speaker asked everyone who wanted a job, to come up to the alter for a blessing. The numbers were staggering; at least 15 to 20 percent of the congregation. Score and scores of people stood there with me and there was no shame in it.

The speaker went on to say that those who came up didn't just want a job, they NEEDED a job. Moreover, they needed to believe that God would not only provide a job, but the exact job for them. The ideal job for them, not just a "good-enough" job.

It's easy to ask for just enough, or kinda all right, instead of what we really want or need in life. The fear is that others may be managing with less, or we don't deserve what we are asking for, or worse, we'd better not shoot for the moon or we may hit our toe instead. Now more than ever, we must listen to Mark 5:36 (NIV), when Jesus says, "Don't be afraid, just believe."

Remembering Why We Are Independent

I just saw The Great Debaters and am reminded that freedom and independence and democracy are ratified by each of us one debate at a time. Whether the parties be North vs. South, Red State vs. Blue State, Choice vs. Life, Mac vs. PC, or Eva Mendes versus Eva Longoria.

Some Things I've Learned From Michael Jackson's Death

1. Have a will with funeral / burial instructions
2. Find your calling as early in life as possible and be remarkable at it for as long as you can
3. Find a healthy balance between external success and internal success
4. Have someone in your life that has the authority to pull you back before you go off the deep end
5. The ill you do in life will adversely effect your legacy.
   

Dirty Diana or South Seeking Sanford?

It's a toss-up as to whether Michael Jackson or Governor Sanford would be most likely to make a grown man blush due to T.M.I. (Too Much Information).

What I Love About Buying Fuel

I was going to complain about buying gas, but then changed my mind. As a matter of fact, I love that I have freedom of choice when it come to purchasing fuel. Like the price of a cab ride in Lagos (Nigeria); the price can vary from day to day, especially during peak season.

What I love is that I can do something along the lines of dollar-cost-averaging. A fancy way of saying, I'll pay only twenty dollars when I buy fuel, regardless of where I go. Now that I think about it, I drive mostly for pleasure. I prefer to take public transportation when I can, for commuting purposes.

If I could wave a magic wand, I would have a car that runs on the stuff that nobody wants or can't wait to get rid of.

Something To Add To Your Bucket List

Read the King James Version of the Holy Bible, in alphabetical order,
one page per day. I just finished, and it has been quite a ride.

So Long Michael and Farrah

To the Smooth Criminal and the Angel, R.I.P.

Don't Cry For Me Argentina

I thought nothing could glue me to CNN as much as Decision '08, until Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina spoke at his press conference. I mean I couldn't believe how much James Carville had CNN's Campbell Brown blushing as he commented on it. Seriously though (to Carville's point), the big news isn't that Sanford had an affair, but rather the circumstances surrounding the affair. It was no surprise to me. If your staff and your wife don't know where you are for four days, survey says, "you're having an affair."

What surprised me was how revealing Sanford was. He was almost bearing his soul. I think he wanted to get caught so he could stop scheming.

How To Make Your Mother Happy

Invite her to a wedding of someone with the same last name as yourself.

Conch

I had Haitian "Seafood Conch" at my cousin's wedding yesterday, and it was absolutely delicious. Conch is a little tougher than lobster in consistency. It's rare, in my experience, to be found in a non-Caribbean or non-West African restaurant.

My first taste was as conch fritters in Key West back in 1994. I then proceeded to try it in just about every variation I could find. I prefer it curried and spicy.

I used to be able to get it locally (Cambridge, MA) at a Caribbean joint called Rhythm and Spice back in the mid-nineties. Alas my little piece of Jamaica is no more. More red tape, less Red Stripe I guess.

Is The Iranian 2009 Election Their Bush 2004?

In almost typical fashion there was major political outrage at the results of the 2009 Iranian presidential election. Surprise-surprise, the person public opinion (here in the U.S.) wanted out, the incumbent, won.

I had one foot in the bandwagon myself, then I listened to National Public Radio's, On Point with Tom Ashbrook, to get some perspective. There were people who thought the whole thing was rigged, not unlike our Bush 2004. Then there were those individuals who felt that based on the political make-up of the country, and a previous poll, it was more likely than not, the right guy was declared president, even if they didn't or wouldn't have voted for him.

Then I asked myself if I thought the election was stolen. I couldn't neither prove nor disprove the point with any credibility, because I don't live and breath in Iran, nor do I have a sense of the political climate to the level that I do here (in the U.S.).

The good news for Iranians is that the president-elect is on notice to improve the lot of the disenfranchised. He, not unlike Dubya, would ignore the people at his peril.

U.S.A. Versus Italy: 1-3

Today I eagerly hoped that the U.S. soccer team would give Italy at least a challenge. To be fair, they were playing the 2006 World Cup champs, and played most of the match a man down.

Still, the U.S. side has work to do. 361 days before South Africa 2010 (World Cup) hopefully will be enough to work on better fitness, organization, and field discipline. Those are the things that can be worked on. The most important component though is heart; either you got it...or you don't. I'm hoping the U.S. will surprise once again.

First Mobile Post

It took me a hot second but I figured out I needed to use the html view.
Not very intuitive, but it works. This is via the Google GI. Gotta roll.

The Ties That Bind Us

I was at church last Sunday when through the bishop's sermon I discovered that he had been at Americade (a annual motorcycle rally, based in Lake George, NY) as I had the day before.

I knew he rode, but I never imagined he actually went to motorcycle rallies. A bunch of friends where supposed to join me, but I turned out to be the only one, as each had something coming up by chance or previous engagement.

What I love about motorcycling is that it's a great way to start a conversation, especially amongst people that wouldn't be inclined to speak with one another otherwise.

When Do You Think You'll Die?

There are more than a few books, articles, and websites that posit the question, what would you do if you had (fill in time-frame) to live? The idea is to spark some call to action, a focus on what's important.

The aforementioned is useful as a primer at best, and is a speed bump at worst. I've actually thought about the question, seriously. I'll get to the why in a bit. I just took one of those Facebook quizzes to see how close I was. It was eerily accurate, based on general life expectancy for my demographics. However, it was a bit longer than I expected.

Most people are forced to confront their mortality in a number of ways. For me it was a couple of near-death experiences, and most recently, writing my will. What makes the latter even more stronger than the former, is that writing a will forces you to assume that you are dead or dying by making you plan for it in some detail. It's especially sobering if you have a spouse, and more so, young children kids. You have to have discussions along the lines of, hey, can you be guardian to my kids in case I die sooner rather than later?"

The truth is, we are ALL dying. Right now, all of us. We are just at different levels of awareness. I find that the more aware one is about one's mortality the better.

Bait And Switch

The other day, I received a solicitation from a recruiter for an interesting contract position. The email, in addition to the gig description, also included the pay rate range. It looked like a good prospect, until I contacted the recruiter.

When I contacted the recruiter, I could tell that the recruiter just wanted to get my particulars to forward to the prospective client. Fine; I wasn't crazy about it, but that was no crime. When it came to rate I was asked what I wanted. Although my magic number was outside the stated range, the range itself was acceptable considering the gig.

When I responded that the stated range was adequate, I was then asked what my previous rate was. I knew this could head one of two ways: a fair negotiation or something else. Still, I like to give people the benefits of the doubt. I gave my previous salary. Doing some quick math she determined that she would put in a rate to her client that was half the stated range, and just a few dollars higher than the hourly rate equivalent of my previous salary.

I countered that first of all that the work was in a different sector. Second, I told her that contractor rates are higher because and employer provides other monetary and non-monetary benefits that a contractor doesn't normally receive.

Her basic arguments were that one, I would be making too much at the stated rate (compared to my previous salary), and two that my proposed rate increase would be more palatable to her client.

Rather than argue, I told her not to bother submitting my resume, and apologized for wasting her time.

How To Eat A Mango

This is my technique, and it ain't for everyone. What I'll guarantee is that you'll get the most out of the mango in question. Plus, it will promote good dental hygiene:

1. Get a plastic plate and a sharp kitchen knife (kids, ask your parents) that fits in non-thumb fingers comfortably. Or try a potato peeler as alternative, if you're ash white after reading "sharp kitchen knife" or if the only cutting you've ever done involve lines, class, deals, or music.
2. Peel half the mango, length-wise, as close the skin as possible; cutting VERY SLOWLY towards you while using your thumb as a guide.
   
3. Bite (not slice) chunks out of the nude hemisphere of the mango, and enjoy. Ideally, this should leave you with half the seed sticking out.
   
4. Once you've gotten all the pulp you can from biting, scrap the rest with your top teeth, and enjoy.
5. Once you've gotten all the pulp you can from scrapping, suck, suck, and suck, and enjoy, until the hairs of the mango form a near-white mohawk along the spine of the mango.
6. Ideally, Step 5 should leave you with a relatively, pulp-free half of the seed sticking out, which you can use as leverage for Step 7.
7. Repeat Steps 2-5, with the unpeeled half of the mango.
8. Wash your hands
9. Floss

Twenty One Days, And A Wake Up

Well, it's finished. Twenty one days with my A Complaint Free World.org bracelet on the same wrist. It has been quite a journey, and I'm a better person for it.

I also have a better appreciatation for the phrase, "the first million is the toughest." The first two to three straight-days were the hardest. Once I got past seven days straight, it became easier to maintain.

I will keep the bracelet on as a reminder.

An Easy Workout

One of my favorite and most effective ways to exercise hasn't changed since I was a kid: football (i.e. soccer). I've recently come out of retirement to join a weekly seven-on-seven league that a couple of classmates from high school play on.

Of course came the nervousness of having to perform competently after not having set foot on a soccer pitch in close to six years. The soreness I knew would be inevitable, but worth it. The game itself was a smaller field with twenty-two-minute halves and unlimited substitutions (thank God), so It wasn't as painful as it could have been. I was clearly not in soccer shape, but my ego was kindly reminded that some of my opponent weren't even born when I started playing the beautiful game. With experience, I was able to used the mental side of the game to my advantage; knowing who the opponent's go-to players were and anticipating their plays. Also, I began to learn how to support the strength of my teammates.

I burnt more calories in thirty minutes than I would have other wise, and had a blast as well. It was nice to know that I still had a few trick left in the bag.

Note To The Class of '09: Keep Your Head Up

I've been listening to radio and television casts about the demise of recent high school and college graduates not finding any work thanks to the recession. Of course it's hard to feel too sorry for a twenty-something, straight out of college that has never even had the pleasure of a job to get laid off from, when seasoned veterans twice their age have just run out of unemployment dough.

Here's something I would want someone to let me know if I was once again in their shoes, as I was during the 1991 recession:

• Stay with your parents and save every dime you can, for as long as you can

• The time to take risks, is when you don't have a spouse and children that rely on you

• This too shall pass

• Use this time to discover what it means to have a "good work ethic"

• You have a lot of latitude (read: margin of error) in your twenties you won't have later in life, use it.

Sotomayor

It's funny. Just when you think the GOP can't receive any more drama, Obama pulls a Sotomayor. I already want to get a t-shirt and begin chanting, "si se puede!" Seriously though, to say the GOP is in trouble would be an understatement. The good news is that here is an opportunity to dispel the notion that the GOP is the party of "no."

More Than Half Way There

Today is day-fourteen with the A Complaint Free World.org bracelet. My wife took hers off a few days ago. It's clear that (for me) the first two days were always the hardest. That's why it took soooo long to get past those first two days.

I've definitely noticed a difference in my life and marriage as I find myself two-thirds of the way to victory. I finding it easier to let go of slights. I'm more forgiving of slights. I'm better at not calling out those closest to me on their infractions. Even when all the aforementioned are factual and not merely perceived.

There's a certain freedom in this. I feel less responsible for everything going well, every day. I feel like I can just go with the flow.

You Reap What You Sow

A cousin of mine reminded me of something I had sown a long time ago, that I just reaped yesterday. You may forget but God never does. Thank you cuz.

And On The Seventh Day

Day seven. The A Complaint Free World.org bracelet is still on the same wrist.

Fruganomics

The Web is a funny place. I started out browsing on "The New Frugality" based on a Time Magazine's cover by the same caption, and I ended up at Your Money or Your Life. Along the way I read scores of reader's comments regarding their take on what being frugal meant to them.

What I learned is that, a lot of people confuse being cheap with being frugal. From what I read, most of the people who thought they were being frugal were (technically) really being cheap. This isn't a judgment, just an observation that is important to clarify.

Change Your Atmosphere

Today in church I was in a bit of an odd mood. We were late again, and I wasn't too crazy about that. However the bishop's son was preaching and that immediately lifted my mood. I hadn't heard him preach in a while, so it was good to have him back.

His sermon was about how to be aware of atmospheres and their potential power over us (my inference). In these economically trying times, it's...now let's stop right there. Read the beginning of that last sentence. Think about how it made you feel. Now, you had one of two (group) reactions. You may have thought, oh yeah, I'm still on unemployment and I'm hanging on. Or perhaps you may have thought, yeah it's rough for some people, but I'm doing okay.

My point is that if you watch (or listen to) CNN all day, you maybe begin to feel as if the world is ending. To be sure, this recession is real to a lot of people, myself included. Still, recession or not, you either have cash flow problems, or you don't. If you don't...then this may be academic for you. If you do, then you'll have to figure out how to improve you're cash flow. There are tons of sites and books on how to do that, and that's beyond the scope of this post.

What the pastor reminded me of, was the need to BE AWARE of the atmosphere we are in and it's affect it has on us. It's a lot easier to resolve the issues of our times if we seek atmospheres that build us up, rather than tear us down. Do whatever you must to make sure your daily atmosphere is as positively charged as possible.

Another Birthday

Yesterday, I ticked off yet another year. It was an interesting one. I found out when I attempted to reserve a car via Zipcar.com, that my driver's license had just expired. Thinking I was clever, I zipped to the Registry of Motor Vehicles website to renew my license online. I was rejected because my photograph was more than nine years old. Now, you know you're a grown man (or woman) when the RMV tells you your current license photo is more than nine years old.

Since driving would mean breaking the law, I ended up taking the kids on the bus (for the first time) to a RMV branch at the local mall. God bless public transportation. When I arrived at the RMV, I saw a sign on the wall which read, happy birthday, andthe Registry no longer sends out license expiration reminders, so please checks your license.

The night before, I had gone through my old journals to read other interesting entries from (or around) prior birthdays. One birthday (also a Friday made famous by a movie) my wallet got stolen, and my present was minus $500 in my bank account. During another birthday, a good friend I hadn't seen in a few years because he was in Japan, blew into town unexpectedly and took me to a lovely brunch. Yesterday, was the first one I spent with my kids, very nice indeed.

The Perfect Snack For A Sweet Tooth

Saltines with peanut butter and jelly. What's yours?

A Beat In Time Reminds Me of Mine

I was at a house party at my sisters' place for a friend of theirs, and the friend's husband was the D.J. This was the end to a day that had started at a low point and had been steadily improving.

A first, the music has mostly gone to waste, as the speakers on hand were more suited for an office desktop than a party. Then I returned with the D.J. to pick up his own, industrial strength (think rock concert) speakers. That changed everything. Once "Murder She Wrote" (an old reggae tune by Chaka Demus & Pliers) came on, everyone hit the dance floor. I even managed to pull my usually dance-shy wife on to the floor. As I sang along, she asked aloud to all how, I managed to know all the words.

I only smiled and told her it was an old tune. In my mind I drifted back to different summer. One of my youth. When I drove a burnt-sienna, 1978 Audi 5000, and a the tape deck had the same song playing. I remember driving at night past the front of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology on the way from work, with my hand tapping against the front of the sunroof. The stars were out, and the beat of the city filled the air.

Back at the party, I took my wife in my arms and pulled her closed and boggled to the swinging beat.

Poor Chelsea

After holding on to a one goal lead (scored in the ninth minute) against Barcelona, Chelsea became the victim of a most tragic end. Barcelona scored the go-ahead goal to take them to the final against Manchester United on May 27, sending Chelsea packing. It's gives a whole new meaning to, it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings!

The Specter of the GOP

I didn't think anything could make me say WOW regarding the GOP after John McCain picked his running mate. Then Arlen Specter became a Democrat. I think that's right up there with Kobe Bryant all of a sudden playing for the Celtics.

On one hand it's a clever and shrewd political move. On the other hand, it's entirely possible that some in the Republican party may be believing stories of it's demise. I personally don't believe that, and as a Democrat, wouldn't want that. After all I wouldn't want the Obama Administration to slip into the same complacency that the Bush Administration did. I'm very wary of one party having all the cards at the table.

Still, I can't help but thinking it's more about the reality of politics than anything else. I think a lot of politician on both sides of the aisle would really like to bask in the Obama glow, regardless of whether they're Obamacans or Obama-can'ts. I think there might be more credulity in a life-long Republican who moves a bit more to the center, than a Republican who become a Democrat. Unless it's more of a statement to the Republicans, than inferred carte blanche for the Democrats. I suspect the Republicans have gotten the message loud and clear at this point.

And On The Fifth Day...

I got to day five with my A Complaint Free World.org bracelet on the same wrist. Then I got sucked into an argument. Sigh.

Connections

I love taking the MBTA (i.e. Boston's transit system)! I know, one of my employment recruiters said the same thing, "huh?" Well it's true. Especially when my jaunts involve going downtown. It's also one of the easiest way to get fresh air and exercise in the city.

What I enjoy most is the connections people make or the ones we are privy to, when we do take public transit. The other day, I made a trip down to Copley Square. The first leg of my trip was a bus ride which would lead to a connection to the subway.

On the bus, a woman looking to be in her mid-fifties, got on and immediately began blaring to the driver about what sounded like a retelling of another driver who wouldn't stop when a passenger was between stops.

Then from my initial subway ride on the Orange Line, I had to switch to the Green Line. When I boarded, two women about mid-to-late-twenties were dissecting the occupational virtues of (what sounded like) a subordinate of the woman doing most of the talking. She sounded fair in saying that while her subordinate was the nicest person in the world, she could improve her organizational skill and reduce her interoffice banter, to become a more effective worker.

On the ride home, I took the Green Line to the Red Line this time. Since it was the beginning of rush hour in Boston, my initial bus wouldn't serve so well on the return trip. In my Green Line car were a group of high school boys, all fifteen and sixteen. I know because that's what they discussed for my part of the ride. Everyone thought the tallest boy was sixteen and a junior. It turned out he was fifteen and a sophomore. The chucked it up to his maturity and who he hung out with at school.

Finally my Red Line ride led me to the bus connection home. On the bus ride home, a young woman looking early-to-mid-twenties, was almost knocked out cold by a guy with a large messenger bag. Luckily, only her glasses were rendered askew. The guy apologized as he disembarked. Once the bus resumed moving, the construction worker across from her joked that it happened to him all the time at work. They then transitioned into a friendly conversation about prospective home ownership in spite of the economic recession.

Rediscovering Yogurt

Ah yes! I made the plunge. I have returned to regularly eating yogurt after about almost a couple of decades. My wife started the hype by ordering (what I'd like to call) the Breast Cancer Awareness Edition of the Yo-plait 15-pack. She offered me a couple to ween me of my addition to ice cream, or at least to gain market share. After the second month of helping her with returning the clean covers via mail, I decided she ought to be paying be commission or something at this point.

Finally during the third month, she literally popped a spoon of peach-flavored yogurt into my unsuspecting mouth. Not only was it good, it was yummy and not bad (to paraphrase the old '80s nutrition commercials). Being the guy that I am, I of course didn't admit that much to my wife. Soon enough I found myself sneaking one or two out of the 24-packs. When I finally got caught, I declared I was simple deducting my commission for services rendered.

Can't Break The Day-Two Threshold

For the last week, every time I'm just about to make the second day with my A Complaint Free World.org bracelet on the same wrist, something gives. Yesterday it was an exchange with my daughter. Today, with an hour to make the two-day mark, it was an exchange with my wife. Tomorrow we try again.

Not For Nothing

I completed a nine-month, Microsoft .NET, masters-level program last year. The intent was transitioning back into IT (esp. application development) after a longer-than-I'd-like hiatus. Half-way through the program, I got the perfect job as a Product Support Engineer that gave me exposure to T-SQL, C#, Java, and the business world of online search.

I was actually enroute to be transitioned into a Junior Software Engineer role, when the bottom fell out of the economy and I became one of the departed (see the movie for the full gist).

I've been through two recessions before, so this one didn't really phase me emotionally, as much as people expected. Don't get me wrong, I had a plan and I'm certainly working it. Plus, my wife, next to God, deserves the lion's share of the credit. For you Red Sox fans, she nailed the Green Monster when it was needed.

What really irked me was not only that I was unemployed, but that for the first time in my life I had student loans in the five-digits. Just after I had spent the better part of four years cleaning up my credit, too. Now, I was going to have to go through a tougher gauntlet than before to get an opportunity to return to application development.

I'd been getting miffed by the loans and then asking God to forgive my fretting. After all, I wasn't complaining when the same course helped me land my previous job.

Then last night, I got a call from a friend. When I returned his call, he asked if I knew C#. I told him, I spent the better part of 2008 doing nothing but C#. And since no one was paying me currently to code C#, I might as well help where I could with what I knew.

So via WebEx, I helped him with some randomization issues, hiding and revealing form objects, and passing parameters by value. It was almost three hours of work, and he thanked me when we were done. He's the type of friend that didn't have to thank me, but he did. I told him, that I should be the one thanking him. Instantly, I saw my student loans in a different light. It was the price I was willing to pay for a friend in need.

I Can Go At Least One Day Without Complaining

I couldn't manage much past that. I made it up to two days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, but kerplunk! I had to switch the my A Complaint Free World.org bracelet to the opposite wrist. This is tough, but I'm sticking with it.

The Art of Non-conformity

So I'm getting my weekly fix of Seth Godin's Blog, when one of his posts pointed me to Chris Guillebeau's site The Art of Non-conformity and his first manifesto. It made my day, and worth checking out. Especially before you are tempted by circumstance to make a decision that errs on the side of mediocrity.

It's What's Inside That Counts

Two words. Susan Boyle.

I also made it past the one day mark without
complaining, criticizing, or gossiping to anyone.

Thank you God.

It's Hard Not To Complain

It's almost a week, and the best I can do is about twenty hours without having to switch the A Complaint Free World.Org bracelet to a different wrist. Well, real change does take time.

Forget About What You Had

I was watching Oprah (don't ask) last week with my wife, and the guest was Suze Orman, the Personal Finance lady (my moniker). I have heard her speak, and the audience (in my opinion and experience) seems to be women. Plus my sister reads her voraciously.

She was there to give people some concrete to-dos in light of the recession. What to pay off, how to manage cash, etc. Then she made a statement that stuck with me. She said, focus on what you have, not what you had. Now this is different from, focus on what you have not what you don't have. It's much harder to live life in the now without what you once had, than to fantasize about that which you've never tasted. However, the former is good medicine for contentment, while the latter is the thirst the may never be quenched.

Spreading The Praise

I happened to stop over at my sister's place on an errand for my wife, and inadvertently walked in on my sister and nieces' weekly bible study. They were discussing the fruits of the spirit, and specifically how to combat criticism.

It was a perfect time to plug the "A Complaint Free World.Org" bracelet. I explained the concept to everyone and my experiences with it so far. While it was politely received by all with a variety of positive and quasi-neutral responses, it was my youngest niece who astounded me. In spite of the challenges, she courteously waited until everyone had spoken (at length) before she responded, "Uncle, can you order me a bracelet?"

How To Be A Better Husband and Dad

A funny thing began to develop once I got downsized. It appears I have become a better husband and father. Not because I developed a second brain or I channeled Dr. Spock. I simply have more time to devote to the practice. Gotta go, the kids are up.

A Complaint Free World Dot Org

My "A Complaint Free World.Org" bracelet arrived today.

Well, bracelets. I had ordered one, at the attempt to be the example, rather than just order one for my wife as well. When two came, I asked her if she'd like to take on the challenge with me. She just grabbed the second bracelet. I told her, "I'd read the suggested rules if I were you."

I had already decided to take the challenge about a month ago during our family road trip down South. I had a good 1000 miles to think about it as the audio book, by the same name, played. Per the letter that came with the bracelet, below are the suggested rules

1. Begin to wear the bracelet now, on either wrist


2. Every time you complain, gossip or criticize move the bracelet to the other arm and begin again. Keep moving the bracelet from wrist-to-wrist until you keep it on the same arm 21 consecutive days.


3. If you hear someone else who is wearing a purple bracelet complain, you may point out their need to switch the bracelet to the other arm; BUT if you're going to do this, you must move your bracelet first because you're complaining about their complaining!


4. Stay with it. It may take many months but when you reach 21 days you will find that your entire life is happier, more loving, more positive and more abundant

I'll be tracking my progress on my blog under the "A Complaint Free World" tag. Pray for me.

A Passion For Porsches

It's funny. It took this recession to re-ignite my passion for Porsche. My first Porsche was a 1984 911 Carrera (1/48 scale). It was white, with blue/red racing stripes, courtesy of my parents, on Christmas Day. A durable little thing that survived (barely) countless drives, zooms, turbo boosts (you Knight Rider fans know exactly what I'm talking about), and lendings to younger relatives and friends. The last I saw it, last year I think, it needed serious bodywork, a new paint job, a new rear axle, and two, new tires. It's now somewhere in this house thanks to my daughter. That's the final status of things I haven't personally misplaced, but I can no longer easily find in the house.

My next Porsche came just six years later (although then it felt like a lifetime) in 1990. It's was a Porsche 959 (1/36 scale), white. It had "PORSCHE" across the face of the spoiler. The license plate read "IM NUTS". It was a gift, from my mentor at the time, for graduating high school. He had listened to me for the past two years, joke about getting a Porsche once I had graduated.
It's the only Porsche still in my possession.

By 1994 I realized it was easier and cheaper to get a fast motorcycle than the slowest Porsche. Since God has a sense of humor, I ended up renting a jury-rigged (but technically road worthy) motorcycle, with an automatic transmission, for my motorcycle endorsement road test. It turns out the owner of the motorcycle school (a side business) also owned a auto school. He was so busy and understaffed that day (plus he was just a really nice guy), he ended up taking me in his white Porsche 944 (1/1 scale) to pick-up the motorcycle. I almost cracked my skull on the A-pillar getting in the passenger seat. It was my first and only ride in a Porsche. The interior was blue leather, and in decent condition considering it's age. However, it had the suspension of a ten-year-old's, un-motorized go-kart.

In 1996, I bought my next Porsche, on the ferry from Harwich, England to Hoek Van Holland, Netherlands. It was a Porsche 928S (1/36 scale, I believe), black, with racing decals all over. It is the only Porsche I've ever bought. I wasn't crazy about so many decals, but it was a 928. A few years later, I ended up giving it to a young boy as a solution to the problem every parent knows. The problem of, "mine!"

Then somewhere at the intersection of the reality (and sometimes) tragedy of life, and all too often, short lifespan of childhood dreams, I forgot all about Porsches.

Again, since God has a sense of humor and works in mysterious way, I ended up in 2004, helping a relative fulfil an Ebay deal. I just happen to be in North Miami, and soon returing to Boston, with no luggage. The seller met me at the mall in a yellow, Porsche 911 Twin Turbo (1/1 scale). It was pristine. Two years later (with no prompting for me), I received as a gift, from a high school buddy, a...yellow Porsche 911 Twin Turbo (1/12 scale). It was remote control, and faster than I expected (read: outdoor use only). Unfortunately, my daughter developed an obssession for it. Rather than have my wife stress about her breaking it, I gave it to her.

Then last year at a new job, I noticed a Porsche I had never seen in my life. It looked like a distorted 911. Maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, and it was really another marquee trying to imitate the guys from Stuttgart. I walked up to it. It was black with tinted windows, and across the butt read, "CAYMAN." An extension of the 911 line I thought? An entry-level 911? It was a 911, but it wasn't. A little more curvy and bulbulous. Same delicious Porsche, 19-inch wheels to be sure. I think I took the five minute walk to the same spot it was parked, every single day the weather was good, until winter came.

Today as I write this, I just purchase my first Porsche magazine in probably a decade and a half. On the drive back from the bookstore with my daughter, I noticed a Porsche dealership. I smiled. As I look back in time and at my 1990 Porsche 959 (1/36 scale) next to me, I think of the old Porsche magazine ad. There are no old Porsches, just new owners.

A Facebook Pick Five A-ha Moment

You can tell a lot about a person by the following:

• Top five movies of all time
• Top five books of all-time
• Top five music albums of all-time

Try it.

Service In A Bizarro World

So one thing in life lead to another and I found myself reading The Call of Service by Robert Coles. An acquaintance recommended Giving by Bill Clinton, and I saw the Coles' book close to it.

Coles' introduction include bare-bones realizations from the server as well as the servee. In otherwords, he posits that while the server is giving, the server is also receiving and vice-versa. However, it takes some experience, or a better word may be "maturity", before this is sometimes fully realized.

Typically the paradigm (American) tends to be the affluent or/and privileged (historically White), servicing the marginalized, disadvantage, neglected, etc. (historially darker complexioned ethinic minorities).

So I had a odd thought. What if the historical receipients of service were to begin to service (on a larger scale) the affluent or more privileged? What if (for example) Sudanese refugees actually began to affect the lives of the affluent white majority with their live skills and experiences? I envisioned an organization where (for instance) lower-income inner city minority kids could spend every other Saturday with their white affluent counterparts, teaching them how to avoid paying to much for groceries or how to snag good furniture or clothing at thrift store. Dunkin-Donuts instead of Starbucks. Ha-ha. let the revolution begin.

It's Riding Season

It's Spring. This means it's time to ride for those of us who have been Winter's prisoners. To all you riders out there, keep the rubber side down.

How The Media Can Help With Solutions

Tonight President Obama held a conference to update the American people on the state of affairs on the economy. All would appear to be cruising until CNN's Ed Henry asked his question. Henry's question wasn't the problem, but rather it's intent, the energy behind it. It started off as a legitimate inquiry into the lack of an airtight contract between the government and AIG, but ended up being just another gotcha question.

This was confirmed in the follow-up on both Larry King Live, and AC360. Then the tone switched to a preoccupation with their opinion that Obama was anger at Henry's question, because it was such a great question. Even Henry expression post-mortem seem to be one of smugness. Were they lying? No. Did they exaggerate? Yes.

Now I respect Henry expertise as a pundit and as a reporter. He's no hack. I thought his question again was certainly not out of bounds. However, he blew a great opportunity to ask a question the AMERICAN PEOPLE REALLY CARED ABOUT.

Rather than ask why it took the President so long to respond with outrage post the AIG debacle, and leaving the action to New York Attorney General Cuomo; he should asked something like, "Your delay in responding with outrage to the AIG bonuses may appear to some to be because of the ineffective language in the contract, which your administration is ultimately responsible for. What are the administration's plan to correct this, and how will future contracts be designed to prevent exploitative behavior by other companies?"

Cool US City Names

I love road trips within the United States because of the highway signs with cool city names. Here are few of my favorites.

• Dumfries (VA)
  
• Mechanicsville (VA)
  
• Rising Sun (MD)
• Spotsylvania (VA)
• Yemassee (SC)
• Oine (NC)
  

Can't Wait To Get On The Road Again

I think is was the election 2008 season that helped make this winter feel shorter than usual. In any case, it's March, and that's means it's time to bring the motorcycle out of hibernation. This will be the first winter I have a motorcycle to resurrect in a long time.

Last year was the longest riding season I ever had. I rode from late April (when I purchased
the 2007 Hyosung GT650R), to the beginning of December. A few lovely riding days have already creeped up, and I've seen many riders already taking advantage of them, albeit carefully.

This year my Tourmaster riding jacket also doubled as my winter jacket. Although, I got a great deal on it, I still couldn't justify buying a both a new motorcycle jacket as well as a new winter jacket, in the same year. So, as an experiment, I decided to see how my riding jacket would fare. Full marks Tourmaster. While the three-layer system of inner lining, mid-mech jacket, and outer waterproof shell, provides a more than toasty enviroment, the armor as well as the riding cut, make it uncomfortable for driving and close-quarters sitting (e.g. on the subway). My Tourmaster boots doubled great as snowboots too. Again, with as much money one has too put down for new riding gear, it ought to be multi-purpose.

I wonder what adventures the gang and I will have this year? Which new riders (or new to us) will join our band of merry riders? Who knows. However, it is a privilege to have yet another year to discover that. Keep the rubber side down.

If You Lived Here You'd Be Home By Now

You know you're loved when you visiting folks in other parts of the country and they want you to move where they are.

Friday The 13th

The last time my birthday fell on Friday The 13th, my wallet got
stolen, and some lucky dog madoff with $500. Thank God today
isn't my birthday, and that I can laugh about it now.

The Recession Rap

It's been two months since a brotha's been laid off,
but that's okay because that's life, and sometimes
things just don't work out right.

But the funny thing is it ain't just me,
It her, and him, and one dude who's paycheck
was more than three-Gs.

This white guy and his family now live in a motel,
and the sister next to them and her husband just
got foreclosed on. She was so pissed, she
chase the trooper down their street with the
garden hose on.

My girl T said "you too", and I said "who knew,
collecting unemployment would be something
people said 'I do' to".

So now everybody screamin' 'Obama!!!', while
the GOP sez, he ain't got nothing for ya.
They used to Rove, but now they Rush, like second
shift workers who don't wanna miss the last bus.

My daughter asked "what's a stimulus check?" And I
said "Baby, we ain't there yet. America didn't
get this far by people countin' on the gov'ment to
pay their rent."

So I told my wife let's get back to Scripture, because
you got to listen to a guy who's walked on water, who
fought the devil, who rose from the dead, and even
when there was no food he got over 5000 fed.

Now with faith inside I know we'll all survive.
Because what doesn't kill you will make you strive.
So reach out to that brother, build up that sister.
When we're through it all, we'll be mo' betta.

Breakfasting

Nothing focuses the mind (not to mention the spirit) like fasting. I break today's fast at 3:00 p.m. (GMT -4), and I'm tired from the 5-hour nap I took last night. Still, I can't help but feel a certain peace and clarity as I focus my spiritual antenna on God.

George's "Curious" Past

I took my daughter to the library earlier today, and I ended up reading her the first book she pointed out: Curious George by Hans Augusto Rey. She loves her some Curious George.

We were about a third of the way through the book when I got to a page which read, after a good meal, and a good pipe... "A good pipe???" I repeated out loud, and the illustration showed Curious George sitting in a den chair, smoking a pipe. "What's the copyright on this?" I asked aloud to myself. A couple of the mothers within earshot giggled.

I turned to the copyright page and the read the original copyright was 1941. Okay. I read on, only to find out George would later go to JAIL for accidentally calling the fire department. I guess this means George doesn't have to worry about establishing his street cred(ibility) if he ever decides to go into Hip-Hop.

Breakfast Exotica

I'm the reason the house recently stores Kellogg's Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, and Cocoa Krispies. It's the economy stupid. So in my attempt to justify my choice and move it closer to a more balanced meal...I added some fruit. The result?

• 1 cup Cocoa Krispies
• 1 cup Apple Jacks
  
• 1/2 diced banana
• 6 diced strawberries

Serve with the milk of your choice.

What Do Bobby Jindal and Bobby Brown Have in Common?

They both took "my prerogative" to heart when they had the mic. Listening to the GOP rebuttal yesterday, it's clear to me (now more than ever) that Bobby Jindal has already started his 2012 presidential bid. Unfortunately, he too may have drank the trickle-down-economics kool-aid. If I were he, I would do what Jamal did in "Slumdog Millionaire" and phone-a-friend. Preferably a non-GOP friend from New England. He may not get the answer he's looking for, but it will spur some much needed innovating thinking the GOP needs to engage in. Here's a primer.

• What would it take to keep a GOP primary loss in Massachusetts to single digits?
• Why did Democrats like John McCain.
  
• What can the GOP learn from pro-life Christians?
  

Personally, as a currently, registered Democrat. I believe Bobby Jindal is the best shot the GOP have..for 2016. That's for another post though. Gone are the days when a presidential candidate can win with just the folks from his or her party. The electorate has been fooled and burned twice already, recently AND by the GOP.

I love to see the GOP work furiously to reinvent itself. Realization that one has a problem is usually the beginning of wisdom. However, they will have to be legitimately interested in the broadening of their base. No Palin, no Rove'n, no Shock and Awe, and no aw shucks.

The Real Secret to Marriage

I'm reading an interesting book, Here Lies My Heart, A Beacon Anthology, and I stumbled upon quite a gem. The secret to marriage appears to be in the realization that it is a "long patience." Nice.

Is There Ever a Waiwer for Selling Out?

In this current economy those of us who have had to put in some extra hustle for cash-flow may find ourselves looking for work or gigs in some unusual place. For example, a techie might one day find herself interviewing for customer service position at an insurance company. Or a mutual fund manager may find himself filling out an application at Borders. No harm, no foul, and I've been there (in similar situations) myself.

However, some people have a point where they may find they have to take a job they wouldn't ordinarily take in brighter times, but have some misgivings about it. It may be a moral, psychological, or philosophical barrier that has been skated across, but...the baby needs shoes. Or, I'm about to get evicted. Or, to quote the singer Gwen Guthrie, "Bill collectors at my door! What can you do for meeee?"

What then? Well, it's hard to tell until you've been in that particular situation. What do you think? Holla back.

One Benefit of this Recession: Contentment

Like a lot of folks, regardless of their employment status, this recession has concentrated my mind more on the financial aspect of life, than normal. Likewise there have been more sermons at church over the last few months regarding money, than usual.

Last week I stumbled upon a sermon worksheet from Church of Pembroke Pines, which I attended while I lived in South Florida. Although it's titled, "Don't Let the Grinches Steal Your Christmas," it's main points are quite relevant this February.

1. Materialism and greed, versus recognizing the limitations of wealth
   
2. Envy and jealously, versus contentment
3. Busyness and noise, versus stillness and solitude

There were quite a few scripture tracts that supported the points such as Matthew 6:25 and I Timothy 6:6. Although one that wasn't listed but that I stumbled upon, was Philippians 4:11-13.

"...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who give me strength."

Ask Not How Your Country Can Stimulate You...

So, I first heard about Mark Cuban's stimulus plan via Seth Godin's blog posting, Calling Your Bluff. I had to run out of the house, so I didn't have the opportunity to check it out. Also It sounded too good to be true, so I forgot about it. Then today, while attempting to find where I could downloaded the, now famed, 1000-plus-page, Obama, economic stimulus plan (ahhh fun), I actually came across the post in my Google search. The Mark Cuban Stimulus Plan - Open Source Funding. In a nutshell, if you post a business plan that has a tangible project that generates its own cash flow within 60 days of start-up and breaks even by day-90, you may be eligible to get some boost funding.

I do like the premise as well as the requirements. It forces the entrepreneur or prospective entrepreneur to think about what she or he can start or work on today, that can help boost the company AND the economy by generating cash flow RIGHT NOW and would necessitate employing or contracting people to grow. Funny, my wife's company Double T Catering (yes, shameless plug) actually could make a pitch. Viva la economia!

Flowers = Valentine's Day?

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and once again I didn't send flowers. I know, I know, but hear me out. I like flowers, but I like to think of them as my phone-a-friend option, when all else fails. When I've sent flowers in the past, the woman in question (now including my wife) knew, okay--this is a special, special occasion. I feel flowers, especially roses, can become as casual as "I love you" if the context excludes sincerity.

When I was younger, I was really into the single rose and carnation. The latter was certainly more affordable as a high schooler. Once I graduated college, I could aspire to getting them from 1800flowers.com. My high school would have flower sales on Valentine's Day as well as during other holidays. The first time I saw a green carnation was on Saint Patrick's Day. The idea was that you could buy a carnation for about fifty cents, and then include a note with the name, classroom, and class period of your beloved. You just had to make sure you got the details right, or the person didn't decided to cut class that day.

One of my best jobs ever was working for the Arts and Event Department at University of Massachusetts at Boston, in the early nineties. One Valentine's Day, a colleague and I had to pass out as many single roses as we could, to everyone on campus who would accept one. I was amazed at how many women were more than happy to take one, and how many men wanted to beat me up for even suggesting they take one. A few guys did though. Don't worry gentlemen; your secret is safe with me.

You Can Put Anything in a Calzone

So I went to dinner with some ex-colleague (ex in a good way) and I ordered a calzone. Few Irish-esque restaurants in the Boston area, that I've been to, have calzones on the menu. None do actually, now that I think of it. Anyway, I figured it couldn't be spectacular, because that calzone of distinction belongs to a joint on my street that is Italian, owned by Italians, run by Italians, who speak Italian, as a first language.

Anyway, even though I was settling (yes I'm a calzone snob), I became intrigued when I discovered this "jambalaya" calzone, as it was billed, contained okra. First off, as a chef, you get points for style and must have huevos if you can pull off putting okra in a calzone. It turned out to be better than decent.

Now Faith

I love the idea that faith doesn't require you provide an explanation, only a direction to walk in it.

Why I Love American Football

The Steelers beat the Cardinals a few hours ago in Super Bowl XLIII. It's funny. Of all the thing I learned in primary school in Nigeria, it never occurred to me learning how to convert Roman numerals would be so useful in my life. I can figure out which Super Bowl I'm watching, what year The Departed was made, and when the Boston Public Library was built, just by looking at the haphazard collection of capital letters. Compare that with Calculus, which I still have found no use for. Please don't kill me math majors, I just ended up taking more math than I needed in life.

Anyway, I love American football because it, to me, is a nice metaphor for life. It's divided into four quarters, which one can compare to the seasons of life. In the Spring one is born. In the Summer one comes into strength. In the Fall, one matures. In the Winter, well...we all wait our turn to be one of the departed.

What I also like about American Football is that how one starts the game is not necessarily an indication of how one will end the game. In some quarters, life feels like a marathon, in other quarters, a sprint. Sometimes you hit, and sometimes you get hit. We all fumble at some point. Sometimes one makes progress and gains yards, and sometimes we lose yards. God is the referee and He's always watching.

The winners are those that realizes they are part of a team, have a good set of coaches, have AND execute their game play, can be flexible when needed, plus maintain momentum, and remember the ref is the boss. Sometimes the winner last year, becomes the loser this year, or vice-versa

So, If you're in the second quarter and just fumbled the ball, no worries, you still have time to redeem yourself.

Tea With My New Mentor

So now that my time is my own once again, I made good on a promise to have tea with my 80-plus-year-old neighbor, Ripah (a psuedonym). I didn't know it at the time I had made the promise, that she would be my new mentor. However, nothing gives you clarity (after a near-death experience, and having a child) like being downsized. My old mentor is still of value to me, and his lessons I keep in mind. However, I'm at a point where I've essentially graduated from the first quarter of a typical professional life, 25-34, per Robert Kiyosaki, and needed some additional tools in the midst of the next quarter, 35-44.

Ripah is a kind soul with a simple life. I don't know if she's ever been married, but I know she never had any children of her own. I don't know if that was a matter of choice or circumstance, but I do know she would have made a great one. She's surrounded by a huge cadre of nephews, niece, grands, and great-grands. They call and visit from across the U.S., and from the looks of it they can't call or visit her quick enough. They keep her pretty busy. I guess it's partly because she's the last of her generation in their family.

Anyway, I listened first, and then asked some questions about what I had heard. Then Ripah asked me some questions about how I and my wife were doing. She didn't make a judgment or opinion one way or another. Ripah isn't the type of person that one ought to wait on for the answer to "tell me what I should do." She's pretty aware of character, and will only point out the obvious if you've clearly missed it and it hasn't occured to you AND it's important that you not miss it.

What I learned is the importance of service. Not pie-in-the-sky service, or lip service, or service when it's convenient. Ripah spoke of a lifetime and attitute of service in good times, convenient time, obligatory times, and in bad times. I had been getting the vibe over the last year that I needed to put service back in focus in a more consistent way. I needed to weave it back into my life's purpose in a more hollistic way. Ripah really crystalized it for me. Thanks Ripah.

Eat Chocolate to Beat The Recession

At least that what I'm thinking. After all it seems it's one of the few affordable luxuries left these days. Especially if you spring for the dark-chocolate variety (my favorite), but to each his or her own. So, the question will be what type of chocolate? Not all chocolates are created equal to be sure, and price isn't always a determinant factor of quality.

For example at the low end, Mounds and Peanut M & M's are better than average and can be had for between 50 cents and one dollar, depending on where you shop. On the high end, Lindt is a favorite of mine, with Ghiradelli a close second. Their quality is on point, and Ghiradelli is a favorite of mine for baking. For a sample size you'll be shelling out anywhere from 30 cents to 50 cents, again, depending on where you shop. The premium candy bar version of each will run you about $2.50 to $3.50.

The sleeper candy, and the favorite from my youth, is just about anything from Cadbury. I can usually find the premium candy bars on sale for one dollar, and even the regular $1.50 to $2.00 is worth it in my opinion. For me the gem of Cadbury are the Mini-Eggs; candy shell on the outside, pure milk chocolate on the inside. They only come out around Easter, and a sampler pack of about twelve of so, can be had for 50 cents. Too bad I have to wait a few months.

What's The Difference Between The US Army and Parents?

The Army does more before 9 a.m. than most people do all day.
Parents do more after the kids go to bed, than most people do all week.

What Would Seth Godin Do?

Imagine you knew you were more likely, than not, to lose your job in the next three to six months? Now imagine that a month later some guy named Seth Godin told you pretty much the same thing? What would you do? What...would you do?

President Obama

I smile every time I hear it. I had a business appointment today at a local V.F.W. Post, and while I was waiting I watched the all-white, working-class patrons glued to a flat-screen T.V., while they nursed their respective drinks. I just assumed they were watching the Celtics, or something. When I paid closer attention, I saw they were watching a rerun of President and Michelle Obama dancing at one of the inaugural balls.

I'm sorry, but having lived in Boston close to three decade, awkward doesn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. I was expecting some off-hand comments about the expense of the inauguration, or the over-saturation of Mr. Yes-We-Can. What I overheard forced me to check my gut reaction at the door, and to really appreciate all that lead to a President Obama. I heard one man say to the other, I don't like the dress, it makes her look big. I heard the other man respond, with a look of disappointment, yeah.